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beach adventures

this is going to be sort of stream of conciousness and the only person who will get any of it is eliz but thats ok cuz i just have to clear my head?

oh great...i have a trig midterm tomorrow and im being chased by guido the killer pimp
ahhhh i wish i was older so my neighbor tevya could set me up with his son like he wanted to hahahahahahaaha hes gorgeous not to mention the only person ever to get into cornell straight from junior year now if thats not a perfect guy i dont know what is. fuck. oh and hes rich. and did i mention hot?
ummmmmmmm sex and the city/cant hardly wait/risky business.
this john lennon documentary i watched was fucking amazing.....<3 it.
i just realized watching so much sex and the city is making me increase my fuck usage.
hottie and the hotties. i want to bang my neighbor here at the beach. like now.....and i know im not supposed to use the word bang but whatev. hes just hot/my age. oh well. im babysitting here on saturday. moneyyyyy and these people are mad rich they own a prom dress company and ish.

ahhhh im missing so much drama in the hood. SB HOLLAAAA. whatev. september will come sooner then we think. first day of internship today. i counted phones. for 4 hours. equals hell. and i did it fucking wrong. why me? ahh well this is only temporary soon i will get to do the cool stuff you know answering phones actually breathing fresh air not in like a fucking closet counting god damn phones i mean yeah they go to domestic violence victims but counting them just sucks.

so the fireworks were festive. the july 4 festival at the beach was fun. we ate entirely too much. tonight we decided to be chill and go have coffeee and read magazines. we had frozen hot chocolate though. and read back to school fashion crap. back to school....thats odd. jewel tones. and velvet. thats what they say we should wear.

im getting a fucking tan. i started reading stuff today. i actually like the book for apush. its all governmnety and dorky. but thatssss me. im coming back to sb for jsa-ness on friday but sadly i dont have time to visit ppl ewww. time goes by slow yet fast here at the beach.


ok. spontanaiety. the end.

p.s. i want to make out with someone. now. someone preferably being hot and in a one minute radius of my beach house. which narrows it down to like 2 people. god life here can kind of suck. except for eliz. she saves me.

oooh another lame survey


Last car ride: just now, home from the store
Last good cry: few days ago
Last library book checked out: i dont know....i never go to the library
Last movie seen in the theater: batman
Last beverage drank: diet coke
Last food consumed: mexican food. this chicken thing with like peanut sauce. it was good.
Last shoes worn: old navy metallic flip flops
Last items bought: books for summer assignments
Last disappointment: i dont know. a lot of things.
Last shirt worn: this one, some abercrombie shirt
Last website: livejournal.com
Last thing said: ?
Last song you sang: sgt pepper
What color of underwear are you wearing? skin color
What's under your bed? nothing
What time did you wake up today? 12

Where do you want to go? princeton
Where are you going to live? nyc, dc, or europe
How many kids do you want? two
What kind of car(s): no clue
Current mood: bored
Current music: beatles
Current taste: nothing
Current hair: in a side ponytail
Current clothes: tan bermuda shorts, tshirt
Current desktop picture: picture of clouds i took
Current book: angels and demons

(x) - you've done

() been drunk
() been high
() crashed a friend's car
() been to Japan
(x)ridden in a taxi
(x)been dumped
() been fired or laid off
()been in a fist fight
()snuck out of my parent's house
(x) had someone sneak in
() ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
() ever dated someone of the same sex
(x)had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
()been arrested
()made out with a stranger
()stole something from my job
()celebrated new years in times square
() gone on a blind date
(x) had a crush on a teacher
() celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
(x) been to Europe
(x) skipped school
( )been married in crew terms
( ) gotten divorced in crew terms
() had children
() seen someone die
() been to Africa
(x) Been to Canada
() Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
() Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Thrown up in a bar
() Purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) Eaten Sushi
() Been Snowboarding
(x) Met someone in person from the internet
( ) Been moshing at a concert
( ) been in an abusive relationship
( ) been pregnant or got someone pregnant
( ) lost a child
( ) gone to college
( ) graduated college
( ) tried killing yourself
(x) taken painkillers
(x) miss someone right now

1. Nervous Habits? i pace hahahaha
2. Are you double jointed? no.
3. Can you roll your tongue? yep yep
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? nah
5. Can you blow spit bubble? i know i did when i was little, yet i have not tried recently
6. Can you cross your eyes? no.
7. Tattoos? none.
8. Piercings and where? ears
9. Do you make your bed daily? NO


10. Which shoe goes on first? no clue
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? no
12. On the average, how much money do you carry in your wallet? anywhere from nothing to 200
13. What jewelry do you wear? watch, pearl earrings, maybe my one bracelet and a tiffs bracelet
14. Favorite piece of clothing? hmmm def. my prom dress. im a pretty pretty princess.

-- FOOD --

15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? neither. spaghetti annoys me
17. Favorite ice cream flavor? choc. peanut butter
18. How many cereals in your cabinet? 2 or 3?
19. What's your favorite beverage? fraps
20. What's your favorite restaurant? shogun
21. Do you cook? no


22. Do you swear? yah
23. Do you ever spit? no

24. Animal? ligers. no seriously pigs.
25. Food? japanese
26. Month? may
27. Day? Friday=JSA/Weekend
28. Favorite cartoon charachter? daria
29. Shoe Brand? sneakers---asics
30. subject in school? history/spanish
31. Color? the color of my walls, tiffany blue
32. Sport? none
33. TV show? lalala the oc, everwood,laguna beach, and oh yeah FRIENDS

-- LA LA LAND --

34. What's your sleeping position? idk
35. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket? yah. if i dont i feel weird
36. Do you snore? idk
37. Do you talk in your sleep? supposedly yes
38. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? YES.
39. How about with the light on? i leave a light on in my closet or bathroom sometimes
40. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on? ipodddd

you cook your own dinner: no
you do your own chores: no
your parents still give you money for things: yes
you walk around barefoot: yes
you like beef jerky: noooooooo
you own more than one brush: yes
your favorite color is red: no
you're completely broke right now: yess
you never shop at the mall: no i love the mall
you're happy with your hair: only when its straightened
you own 3 dogs: no I do not.
you spend your money wisely: no
you're always making new friends: ehhh, at some times yes some times no. usually at the beginning of school or something
you get bored taking a shower: yeah i do. unless im thinking
First best friend: This girl named Katie I went to preschool with,
First car: well it will probably be my grandmas 1985 mercedes. ghettooooo
First screen name: julmae89
First self purchased album: probably nsync something or other.
First pets: irving. a cat.
First piercing/tattoo: ears
First credit card: not yet :(
First enemy: these 2 girls from preschool. forget ther names
First big trip: went to live in england at age 1. only lived ther for 8 months tho :(
First musician you remember hearing in your house: michael feinstein. my parents like him. he sings old stuff like gershwin which i always loved.

Last car ride: home from ptown in eliz's car. but right before that i drove for the first time with my permit!!!! whee.
Last kiss: ummm please dont remind me about that.
Last good cry: two days ago. i cry a lot lately.
Last movie seen: batman
Last beverage drank: pink lemonade
Last food consumed: turkey sub
Last crush: im sort of confused about that right now hehe
Last phone call: my mom called
Last time showered: yesterday
Last shoes worn: my indian shoes
Last cd played: various john mayer-ness
Last annoyance: stupid boys
Last time wanting to die:neverrrrrrrrrr
Last shirt worn: the one im wearing now its my pajamas and its the marching band shirt from last year. yes scoreeee no more band no more band.

ok so yeah as is evidenced by this quiz my summer is getting off to a remarkably lame start. yesterday was fun though. p-town with eliz later joined by the great vivekster. saw people i havent seen in like a year at jsa summer school. that was hot. also saw people from school who are there. everyone seems to be doing well. i envy them really i do. they wont realize what they had until they lose it and thats the sad part. i feel bad for them though cuz they have all these strict rules this year (partially because of me yes i know) but mostly because of the other infamous "incident". anyway......i miss it. but this summer will be good. just a whole lot of ME time. i think i will be sick of myself eventually.

i drove with my permit for the first time yesterday!! it was awesome. its so odd though. its like I'M 16 AND DRIVING but i still feel like the same as i did when i was like 12. i dont feel any older or more responsible. its so odd. time just flies by. as the end of my childhood approaches im finally starting to realize that i guess a little part of me will miss it. 2 years. and my two biffs are seniors. how did this happen? i really cant understand it at all. wow. i want this summer to fly by though cuz its mad boring. not to mention so many things happening in september. my new life without band.....and other things. ahhhhhhhhhhhh. whatev. i just have to think in the present and not so much into the future. i cant describe how i feel.

i move down to the beach tomorrow :( i dont want to leave sb its like weird. i know i know the beach is awesome but i have no friends there. i am a lonely loser. at least eliz is coming next week. so thats cool. and i start my internship which im excited yet nervous for. ahhh whatev. i just need to chill out.

Jun. 29th, 2005

john mayer makes me happy....i just downloaded a bunch of bootleg stuff from limewire. its fabulous. espcically this song. i just really like it:

This will all make perfect sense someday
I'll be a-okay
All my bills have all gone paid
I saved the bad
I broke the bank

This coulda been a slow song
A laundry list of all the wrongs
But at the end of the day
This is my beautiful disaster piece I've made
And it goes and i quote

This will all make perfect sense someday
I'll be A-Okay
This will all make perfect sense someday
There's got to be a reason for the rain

I don't understand the numbers
But my faith is in the math
But the odds are all this pain will even out in the end
And we'll look back and laugh

And to all the hearts I've broken
And the ones that once broke mine
I've got suspicions, all will be forgiven in time
All you gotta do is call them up and say

This will all make perfect sense someday
I'll be A-Okay
This will all make perfect sense someday
There's got to be a reason for the rain

And if it ever gets bad
I mean really bad
I'll move to Nova Scotia
Forget the life I had
I'll be up at 9 each morning
Down by the shore
Collecting things that fell off boats in storms
Well ok so I might never
But it's nice to know the option's there

This will all make perfect sense someday
I'll be A-Okay
This will all make perfect sense somday
There's got to be a reason for the rain
a reason for the rain

And it doesn't help
That i keep biting my lip in the same place

yay. i hope i can see him soon. thers a tiny chance i might go to the stones concert which he is opening for. that would be sweeeeeeeeeet.

i am doing ok. princeton with eliz tomorrow. should be nice.


alone again. i shouldve expected it. i was stupid. really stupid. 3 weeks of my life.....psssh no big deal right. wrong. i mean its not who it was or what it was.....just that this is the first time it has happened to me and i just feel very small. and very stupid and worthless. and very lied to. i know that you are a good person and didnt mean to hurt me.....but its hard not to feel like shit right now. i will make my peace with it i always do...thats the nice part of being an eternal optimist. i just had so much hope.....and that hope just didnt play out this time. but i am trying to come up with some silver lining and i suppose i will. now i have a whole two months to prepare for the big septiembre.....hmm. not like that will work out any better. anyway i think this quote should help me be ok haha i cant believe i got it from my chem teacher.

"hope is a good thing. maybe the best of things. and no good thing ever dies."

yeah thats right bitches i still have hope. maybe not pride. but i do have hope. thanks to my friends who help me and make me smile......you guys are just like always there and i <3 you all.

p.s. happy birthday to my bestest friend. i <3 you. tonight was fun. at least up to a point.

what a day it has been

Cons: (because you always give the bad news first)

- I cannot take wind ensemble next year :( because of scheduling in this school which is very idiotic and messed up, I basically had to pick between concert choir and w.e. if i wanted to take all my ap's and so on. It just really sucks cuz I thought I would still have band when I quit marching band. But I am going to keep up my private lessons and hopefully they will accept me back in as a senior cuz I think I will miss it after all these years (since 4th grade!). At least I am still in choir which I absolutely love because I love to sing. Ahh well on the bright side I am taking global studies now which means no taking it senior year yay! Now I can take like ap econ or ap enviro senior year which makes me happy.

-Today was the last day I ever saw Mihir. I am going to miss that kid a heck of a lot. There's really not much else to say except its really sad and I really dont think it has hit me yet. I really dont think it will hit me until JSA starts and hes not there to make us all laugh :(

Pros: (yay good stuff!)

+ I did well on the Math SAT2. I dont put my score because thats my personal information but I will say I reached my goal so yay on that.

+The math final was woahhh easy. I was the first one done. I breezed through it. So yay. If I somehow do ridiculously well my grade could go up which would be nifty.

+ I went back to my old elementary school today; good old Brunswick Acres. I saw some of my teachers. They all love me. I was quite the suck-up back in the day (not so hard to imagine hehe). My brother got this big paper mache cow our 2nd grade teacher promised him he would get when she retired. This thing is huge. I will have to take a picture of it cuz it makes me laugh. I <3 my elementary school.

+ IM GOING TO ZUMA!!! HELL YES. If your not in JSA you wont know what this is and you probably wont care. But its something I really wanted for this summer more than anything else and im going so cheers for that. So after a somewhat crappy day that was awesome news.


yay i went shopping. and now im mega mega bored. so im going to proceed to put up pictures of everything i bought. whee.


yay for madras (a. its better in real life b. i just sounded very much like someone from queer eye)

umm also a shirt and denim shorts and a sweater vest which sounds eww but its cute and im only wearing it for work and stuff anyway and also metallic silver flip flops haha. it was fun. and we got my dad a father's day present.

and i bought some books cuz i havent just sat down and read in so long and i need to start doing it again.

so anyway...

much going on.............today i had my english final (woahh easy). then caio came over. then caio left. then i got in a fight with my mom over how she cant trust me anymore because my bedroom door wasnt open enough when he was over or something dumb like that and i dont listen to her blah blah...uggh i hate parental units. i just cant deal with it. college will be so great because i wont have to deal with all this every day of my life. thats probably one of the best parts....but then again im sure i will be putting my foot in my mouth when i get to college and it totally sucks being on my own.....ahhh well c'est la vie.

so then things got better when I went to tauseefs for a going away party. it was fun. we ate pizza outside and watched pulp fiction. that movie is MESSED UP. but also very entertaining. i decided im going to try to watch more movies liek that. they make you smarter or something.

me and eliz have been talking about how different everything was last year in terms of life...

shines so brite (11:28:20 PM): life is very different....look how much changes in a year
Eno1229 (11:31:06 PM): yeah
Eno1229 (11:31:15 PM): who knows what life will be like next summer

Its like...last year this time I was taking finals...but everything was different. I was still in band. Any kind of relationship was nonexistent. My friends were even slightly different I guess....I have grown closer and farther from people this year. And like....I was anticipating and getting very very nervous for JSA summer school. But now.....its been a whole year. Summer school came and went and totally totally changed me forever. Last summer at Lake-Vu came and went. band camp (my last ever woohoo). then school started all new classes and some new friends. some guy stuff, jsa, trip to london, bush winning :(, band band band, then like vivek's campaign and prom and the show. a lot of stuff. and it just flew right by. and now...im almost halfway done high school. it stil feels so weird still. in less than two years i will know where im going to college, knowing that im NOT going to princeton most likely which is something i have wanted since like 4th grade, knowing that im leaving everything i have ever known....it just sucks. i mean i want college to come but the closer it comes the more i realize how much i am going to have to leave. and that just makes me feel really awful. i never thought i would get sad about it....but its like hitting me already. and im glad its hitting me now because i have two more years to do everything i have ever wanted to do and be a good friend and a good person and just feel like i have no regrets.....AHHHH. Junior year though...AHHH.

so in other news me and ria are oddly obsessed with that jordan knight song from like the 90's....you know the one where they are at the carnival and so on. it all started when we watched darrin's dance grooves in gym hahah and that was one of them. so for your enjoyment i am going to copy/paste the lyrics because when you see what you listened to when you were like 10 you might understand why we are all so oversexed. example- everyone thought the line was "show me where i'll take you there" when its actually "show me where i'll taste you there" hahah yeah:

You say it’s been too long (that’s right)
Since you had some
You say I turn you on
Like fire that’s burning inside
You think I’m the one
You see in your dreams
I know what you mean
Yeah (you know what I’m saying)
Its creepin around in my head
Me holding you down in my bed
You don’t have to say a word
I’m convinced you want this

I know I can give it to you
Can’t deny, I’ll do you right
Just let me know and I’ll give it to you
Show me where, I’ll taste you there
Baby you know that I’ll give it to you
Your body needs a man like me
Anything goes when I give it to you
Without a doubt I’ll turn you out
The feelin is fine
Giving you everything of mine

I’m the place to be
And soon you’ll see
I don’t care who leads
As long as we do hortizontaly
Anyone can make you sweat
But I can keep you wet
Its creepin around in my head
Me holding you down in my bed
I can’t wait to give you some
I’m convinced you need it

Baby, I know I can give it to you
Can’t deny, I’ll do you right (I can do...)
Just let me know, and I’ll give it to you
Show me where, I’ll taste you there (I can taste you there)
Baby, you know that I’ll give it to you
Your body needs a man like me (man like me)
Anything goes when I give it to you
Without a doubt (without a doubt) I’ll turn you on (turn you on)
The feelin’ is fine
Givin’ you everything of mine

It’s creepin’ around in my head (in my head)
Holding you down in my bed
You don’t have to say a word (uh)
Just relax, I’ll do the work
I can’t wait to give you some
I’m convinced you need one, baby
I know I can give it to you (I can)
Can’t deny, I’ll do you right (I can’t deny it)
Just let me know, and I’ll give you (yeah)
Show me where, I’ll taste you there (show me where... I’ll taste you there)
Baby you know I’ll give it to you (oh)
Your body needs a man like me (I know you want it)
Anything goes when I give it to you (you know i’ll... know I’ll)
Without a doubt I’ll turn you out (... know I’ll give you)

I want to satisfy your every wish and mine (just let me know)
Baby, I know just what you need (I know just what you need)
(oh no, no, no) no one could ever do you like I do you right baby (i.. I .. could do it right)
There’s nothing we can’t do cause we do it right baby
We can do... give it to you... baby
The feelin’ is fine giving you everything of mine

...yes our minds were officially poisoned. and that is all i have to say for tonight.

why hey there

and so it begins....finals week. bane of teenage existance. whatev. i can handle it. i am a cool kid. alos have a billion and one other things to do: work/interview/parties/hanging out with people/studying/being stuck at my beach house for long periods of time. oh joy.

today was hmmmmmmm pretty easy.

first we had gym. no one changed. we just sat around, listened to my ipod. signed yearbooks. etc. then there was history...finished watching miracle. i cried. who knew somewhere back there in that liberal unpatriotic heart of mine there was american pride. hah. i was sort of shocked with myself. take that mr king (who persistently derides me for being insanely liberal). ummm then was english. last ever class with the psycho bitch. we all did little victory dances when that bell rang at 12:16. then was lunch. me and eliz sat outside and signed yearbooks. cute. i love how andrews message in my yearbook makes me sound like the biggest prostitute on earth. yah. then caio came to visit. then lunch was over. then i had band. they auditioned more new band teachers. i liked the second guy. his name is mr. bon jovi....yes like bon jovi. i dont think they are related. hah. but yah he was cool i hope he gets the job. so then we had the last meeting of amnesty. we had pizza (as u can see the diet is not going so well). We mostly just talked about what we want to do next year. We are going to buy a cow for poor people. Its gonna be a fundraiser. I know it sounds weird but its really cool it helps a lot of poor people. SO yeah.....then we went home.

Didn't study for my chem final until like 8. yay for procrastinators. yeah........wow 6 days left. im coming to school the last day. just so i can see people some more as well as get my schedule for next year. cuz i like to know that stuff. and i have a driving lesson so theres no point in doing nothing before it. idk.

ohhhhh so I am thoroughly obsessed with this song I will be playing on piano. Its called clair de lune and it is by debussy and its insanely hard. but it is also one of the best songs i have ever heard. its the song from the fountain scene in oceans 11 and also the song in the chanel commercial. and its going to take me like a million years to learn. but yeah i have been listening to it nonstop its sick. ahhh. i am getting really into piano right now for some reason. its just a phase.

thats all.