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oh how time flies

its just so...weird. like i am listening to my friends and they are either going to or applying to college.

fucking college

it is just too bizarre.

in a year i will be applying to college. applying to princeton....the moment i have been waiting for for what seems like all my life. not to be melodramatic which I have already become but thats just fucking intense. like exactly 3/4 of a year from today I will *hopefully* have my license. i am growing up and like i know i am but i dont feel it. when i get in the car and drive i mean i know i am driving but i dont realize the matureness of what i am doing. every day it seems i am turning more and more into the person i am going to be. whether it is my appearance, my work, my relationships, my freedom. its exciting but its also a little daunting. because you know sometimes its just asking yourself, "is this a good choice?" or "how will this help me/hurt me?" and the amount of things you have to apply those questions to just seems to increase exponentially. i have a hell of a lot of decisions to make this year. in each and every category you can possibly think of. i feel like an atomic bomb is about to drop on me, about to totally change everything. i know i have made som pretty positive choices thus far....beginning with deciding to quit marching band. i mean...if i was still in i would have minicamp tomorrow. the thought of being able to wake up at 12, go to the pool, read a little, and talk to my friends instead of being at sbhs from 9-5 just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

no but seriously.....i have 2 weeks left of somewhat freedom. and then....life happens, the shit hits the fan. not only do i have junior year but also the impending arrival of umm certain persons not to mention a whole bunch of jsa (which makes me happy but is a lot of travel) and well then amnesty but that should be k.a. with vivs new expertise. plus i am going to attempt to have some semblance of a social life even though half my friends are field hockey whores, another half are college app whores, and somewhere in between there are the band whores. i am a whore to jsa i suppose. it just not an all consuming whorage. hahah. whorage. thats a new one. but yeah as always a goal for this year will be to become close with some new people and have good times. so lets make a list of goals for the year.

1) Do well academically, this includes APs SATs and keeping that damn gpa up.
2) Meet new people, meet old people, have good times, and look fab 24/7.
3) Do good work with JSA, Amnesty, internship: make a difference in the world through those outlets.
4) Become a healthier more zen person.
5) See some good shows, especially d<3d and johnnnnn.
6) Get my license on May 23, 2005.
7) Pursue higher office in JSA.
8) Maybe, just maybe if there is time in there...have a meaningful relationship, not flings just based on the physical, which I am sick and tired of because thats all i have had and they have all left me shallow and empty inside. (I am sorry but when I think about that i just get melodramatic again)

Will I acheive it all? Probably not. But can I dream? Of course.

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
shoyeb
Aug. 24th, 2005 12:53 pm (UTC)
I dont think i have ever really told you how you consistantly impress me. I keep thinking you're older beacause you're thoughts and feelings are so "grown up." We are all whores to something, and im glad you found your path of "whorage," lol.

You will do great things this year, im confident of that!
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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